Monday, November 28, 2005

It is not often that a piece of literature so profound, so life-altering, crosses my path that I am forced to reflect on the ramifications of its unimaginable greatness. I made a pilgrimage from my cave in upstate Manhattan to the wilds of Fairmount Park to visit my brother, who is spending his life as an asectic monk, surviving off that which he begs of people. In his begging, he came across a zealot of the philosophic school of Chiropractic (which is apparently both the adjective and the noun, as they are loathe to call it chiropractic medicine, with good cause.) He gave to my brother a remarkable pamphlet which in turn was passed to me. I can only hope this is as enlightening to everyone who reads this as it was for me.
The astonishing Dr. You
I would like to highlight some of the more wonderful passages contained within:
"How you feel is a poor judge of your health!" I'll never make THAT mistake again.

"It is the purpose of your brain and nervous system to control the function of every cell, tissue, organ, and system of your body." I'm glad to know that every cell is under direct control of the nervous system, I'll have to remember that one.

"Many of us get our first subluxation at birth. Caesarean section, forcep delivery and suction extraction can place tremendous pressure on a baby's nervous system, too. Lacking language, babies often exhibit unexplained crying, colic, poor sleeping patterns, and other symptoms." Here I thought it was normal for babies to not sleep through the night and randomly. It was actually subluxations! How stupid I was!

Oh, and apparently vaccinations are all a hoax, the apparent vast improvement inchildhood morbidity and mortality is a ruse by the drug companies. Who knew? I think we should start infecting kids with smallpox just to toughen them up. The little wusses.

This amazing brochure has inspired me to seek out other philosophies as wonderfully inventive as chiropractic and share them with the world. I'll return in the near future to talk about "spiritual DNA" and "22 strand DNA activation."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home